A Birthday Request, and Reflections on Ten Years
Taking a moment to reflect on what I was doing during my last ten birthdays, and a novel request for helping me celebrate my 30th rotation around the sun.
One week from today I will turn 30. I don’t exactly know what to expect, or how to feel. In this moment, it’s hard to find the time to step back and think about where you’ve been, what mistakes you’ve made along the way, and where you’re going next. I tried last night for several hours into the early morning to go back, through my records, my photos, my notes, and take stock of the moments of my life as I passed from year to year over the last decade. While this isn’t comprehensive, it’s a series of small snapshots of where I was as my birthday came and went over the past ten years.
10 years ago as I turned 20 years old, I was wrapping up my second year at Santa Clara University, setting out to travel in Jordan and Turkey with my father, and getting ready to travel to Washington D.C in the fall to conduct an internship researching Iran-US relations. That research would eventually become a chapter in the book The Iran Primer
9 years ago, I finished my third year at Santa Clara University, and was embarking upon a long summer of absolute laziness and relaxation, right before getting evicted from our leased home in the fall due to raising issues with black mold in the bathroom. That experience was challenging and daunting, but my fellow “Shirelings” and I didn’t let it get us down…we had a senior year full of work and experiences ahead of us. So we packed up and found another home and made the next year one of the most memorable.
8 years ago I graduated from Santa Clara University, said goodbye to my fellow “Shirelings” (my housemates), scrambled to find a job in what was still a fairly dismal and difficult job market, and in the process, became a fall fellow at Obama for America 2012. That internship would eventually lead me to David Aldridge and formally working as a staffer to re-elect the President of the United States, Barack Obama.
7 years ago I was celebrating alongside my LGBTQ friends the decisions from the Supreme Court striking down the defense of marriage act and California’s Prop 8. I had also been a contractor at a small startup called Nextdoor for little over 5 months at this point, and in the next two months I would become a full time member of Nextdoor’s Support Operations team, working to handle support tickets and resolve issues that our members write in about.
6 years ago I turned 24 and at this point had lived in San Francisco for 6 months, making new friends, staying in touch with family, friends from high school & college, and always being a complete goof with some of my oldest friends like Anna Cai. Oh, also this was the year when the Mustache became a semi-embraced permanent fixture on the face.
5 years ago I again was in a celebratory mood as my birthday rolled around, again having observed the United States Supreme Court issue a monumental ruling in support of same sex marriage. I had also been lucky enough to celebrate my youngest brother Cyrus’ graduation from high school, and by this point, I had started getting much more active in San Francisco politics and involved in my neighborhood.
4 years ago as I was turning 26 I was volunteering heavily for Marjan Philhour, a woman I believed in and (still) think would make a fantastic city supervisor (she’s running again this year!). I was also making ever more friends at work, and traveling to Coos Bay, OR to help build a solid support team. Little did I know that in a few short months…everything would be turned upside down with the results of the November 2016 election.
3 years ago I was in the midst of organizing my neighbors and friends in our new neighborhood pro-housing YIMBY group, Grow The Richmond. Additionally, I was able to convert my oldest friend Elliott to the way of the stache, and I got to meet and hangout with YIMBY activists from all over the country in the 2nd annual YIMBYtown conference in Oakland.
2 years ago as I turned 28, I was able to see the fruit of a lot of hard work pay off as London Breed (who I volunteered extensively for earlier in the year) was sworn in as the 45th Mayor of the City and County of San Francisco. I also got to celebrate with my many United Democratic Club friends as my old friend (and first boss) David Aldridge held an engagement party with his closest friends in San Francisco.
1 year ago I turned 29. By this time I had joined the board of the United Democratic Club as an appointed member, helping to put on events and turn out volunteers to engage in local, state and national politics. I was joined by my friends from all corners of my life for a smaller family birthday gathering, and this was also the moment when my Nextdoor colleague Victor decided to make his move down to LA to start the next chapter of his life.
And now it’s 2020. In one more week I turn 30.
Now we’re in a pandemic, we’re having a serious and long overdue reckoning on the systemic racism that has been in the bones of this country since far before I was born…and we have a once in a lifetime shot to remove one of the most dangerous men from public office at the ballot box this November.
If you asked me how I’d be celebrating my birthday at the beginning of this year, I probably wouldn’t have told you “quietly sheltering in place in my apartment while sitting out on the balcony”
But that’s where I find myself. This is where the journey has taken me so far. I’m lucky that I’m able to call so many amazing people my friends, colleagues, and cherished companions. My time at Las Lomas High School, Santa Clara University, on the Obama 2012 campaign, at Nextdoor, in the United Democratic Club,YIMBY Action, and on and on…my experiences from these institutions and organizations are part of who I am, but they’re not the entirety of how I came to be who I am.
I truly do believe that I am only as good, or as bad, as the people I surround myself with. Reflecting back on the past ten years, I find myself humbled by the truly phenomenal group of people I have intersected with throughout my 20’s, and I couldn’t be prouder or more appreciative of each and every person I’ve crossed paths with along the way, even when I’ve been less than my best self.
Normally for my birthday I would do some sort of big gathering, pulling together the corners of my life for one big party where people can get to know one another and where I can get drunk in the process and just have a good night to blow off steam and dance the night away.
Well…that’s not happening this year. Or at least, it’s not happening until I personally feel satisfied by the directives coming down from the San Francisco and California Department’s of Public Health. So in lieu of a party, if you’ve made it this far down to this post, I ask that you do the following instead of get me a gift or post to social media to wish me a happy Birthday on July 6th:
- Send me a physical letter. The US Postal service won’t be saved by a few dozen letters, but our national postal carrier is on the verge of collapse due to some very shortsighted policies enacted by Congress…I figured the least we could do is try to revive the “old way” of sending correspondence, especially in these pandemic times.
The letter can be about anything. What our friendship/relationship means to you. It can be personal advice about something I need to work on as I head into my 30’s, or it can be a memory that we’ve shared together, an invitation to hang out again once we’re able to meet in person again, really whatever you want it to be.
I realize inviting you all to send me snail mail is going to lead to some interesting results. However, I don’t want to get too prescriptive, I just thought this was a novel idea. Just go get some postage, an envelope, and write down what you think feels right to you. My mailing address is 825 La Playa St, #223, San Francisco, CA 94121.
2. As always, instead of a gift to me personally, please consider donating to some of the organizations that I hold near and dear to my heart.
If you feel so moved you can also join these organizations as well or become recurring contributors:
- Richmond Neighborhood Center:
https://richmondsf.org/get-involved/donate/ - YIMBY Action:
https://yimbyaction.org/join/ - United Democratic Club:
https://secure.ngpvan.com/iEdmb5pwQ0KGILMzhagj0g2 - Larkin Street Youth Services:
https://larkinstreetyouth.org/get-involved/#section-donate - Imprint City:
https://www.imprintcity.org/donate
…and finally, yes, please give money to Joe Biden’s campaign. We have one shot at getting rid of the current occupant of the White House, let’s not waste it:
- Biden for America:
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/joe2020?refcode=frontpage
When all this is over, I will gladly organize a proper birthday celebration, but for now, stay safe, wear a mask, stay home whenever possible, and let’s take care of each other okay?
With love and humility,
Bobak Esfandiari
